creating space for myself.

One of my only recurring dreams and often a place I will go when I am instructed to think of my happy place is being deep underwater, surrounded by ocean, and swimming.  I am deep under this water, yet there is no desire to surface, there is no goal in sight to swim towards; I am simply swimming.  I imagine this is when I feel most at peace and I love that I get to visit this world in my dreams.  I've noticed a heightened sensitivity to others and I'm learning the effects of who I surround myself with and how I respond to those around me.

What i've noticed lately is how effective my mind can be at creating stress in my life.  And if my mind doesn't have something to stress about.  (I)t will find something from my past that still is a trigger for me.

And I also notice that if I'm not eating much sugar, which I currently am not, then I find something else to lower sensations of stress. Lately it's been reddit and facebook.  So deleted my reddit app on my phone and unfollowed pretty much everyone on facebook so that when i do check it, there's nothing new and distracting on the news feed.

So what's my point?  I'm creating space for myself.  I'm emptying out all of the shit, trimming off the fat, and giving myself the space to explore areas that I previously have not.

Also, I just watched this video on how this guy went two years without spending any money by bartering his photography skills for the basics of food, shelter, and travel.  Really amazing and gets at the core of my desire for basic human rights, aka ^,     ^  and          ^.  (I hope those arrows line up...)  What I also liked about this video was what he spoke about in regards to his distaste for specialization especially in regards to creativity.  One of my core strengths, besides my obliques, is my huge and awesomely varied background and treasure chest of experiences.  These have been the mold into which I am currently shaped.  All of these have value, including my wacky job history, which makes me the badass I am today and very capable of doing badass things.


Aquaponics update:  The Gates foundation does not fund individuals, only organizations.  And amazon, well, the most i found about them and being green is that they have a new HQ that they pride themselves in the sustainability of it.  Maybe they would hire me to design an office based automated food system for them.  Gates as well...

Bitcoin Bodywork update:  I want to redesign the website to look sexier.  I have not taken on any clients here in Seattle yet.  I feel alright about that.  I getting some emotion stability which feels good.

Oh!  And i'm in Seattle now.